Thursday, February 25, 2010

My Social Profiles

My Social Profiles

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Internet Teachers (Good and Bad)

In my nearly two years of building on the web I have encountered both good and bad teachers. (in my opinion) I do not mean bad that there is nothing to learn from them. I feel we can all learn something from everyone.

To be a good internet teacher (in my opinion) is to, except the students invitation to view the progress their student has made. To offer constructive criticism to said student then do a follow up perhaps giving said student a good review or comment. I have several Good Internet Teachers that I allow to teach me. People who offer the advice and criticism I need to become successful online. They have unsurpassed resources available no matter the direction they point me. Which are full of the information I am seeking, with links to even more resources. Never asking or expecting anything in return. Not to say that they don't have some program resource, or service they would like for you to purchase. Good Teachers allow you to make your own decision(s) on the information that will suit your needs.

To be a bad internet teacher (in my opinion) is to sharing knowledge with your students seeking self gratifacation or financial gain. Ie; they say sign up for this for "free". So you do the next page tells you thanks for joining if you pay $xx.xx today you can save $xxx.xx. Or, they keep sending emails saying "what are you waiting for" upgrade today.

This blog will be updated

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Motorcycle tool-guide

Motorcycle tool-guide

Eight-Foot Long Douglas Fir 2X4 - used for levering a bike upright after using a hydraulic jack on the bike. 

 • Hydraulic Bike Jack/Platform - ingeniously-designed tool for flipping bikes onto their sides, usually when you're alone in the shop. 

 • Wire Wheel - cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Hand me 'nother beer, Bubba!" 

 • Drill Press - a tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against the Pamela Anderson poster over the bench grinder. 

 • Oxy Acetylene torch - used almost entirely for lighting those stale garage cigarettes you keep hidden in the back of the Whitworth socket drawer (What wife would think to look in there?) because you can never remember to buy lighter fluid for the Zippo lighter you got from the PX at Fort Campbell. 

 • Vice-Grips - used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. 

 • Electric Hand Drill - normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling roll-bar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle. 

 • Mechanic's Knife - used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing leathers or bike covers. 

 • Hammer - originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive chrome scooter parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. 

 • Tweezers - a tool for removing wood splinters. 

 • Phone - tool for calling your neighbor Bubba to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.  • Snap-On Gasket Scraper - theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.  

 • E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor - a tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit. 

 • Two-Ton Hydraulic Engine Hoist - a handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and hydraulic clutch lines you may have forgotten to disconnect. Almost capable of lifting a Gold Wing off the floor.  

 • Craftsman 1/2 x 16 Inch Screwdriver - a large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.  

 • Battery - electrolyte Tester A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from scooter battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.  • Hacksaw - one of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. 

 • Trouble Light - the mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin", which is not otherwise found in garages at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading. 

 • Air Compressor - a machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty suspension bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and rounds them off. 

 • Phillips Screwdriver - normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads. 

 • Timing Light - a stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup on crankshaft pulleys.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Stolen Lunch

Stolen Lunch

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to

slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his

bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker

brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has seen the whole scene and addressing the biker, says, "Sir, this

was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life." The biker

humbly responded, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just

saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and

tomorrow's paper will have this on the first page. What kind of motorcycle do you

ride?" "A Harley Davidson!" he said proudly! “Hmmmm?” said the reporter

suspiciously. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed

brings news of his actions, and reads on first page: BIKER GANG MEMBER


Monday, July 27, 2009

Arthur Davidson in Heaven

Arthur Davidson in Heaven

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Oh, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
There is too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
It chatters constantly at high speeds.
Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust, and finally.
The maintenance costs are outrageous.
Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it."Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention then yours".

Saturday, July 25, 2009

crusty old biker

crusty old biker

A crusty old biker, out on a long summer ride in the country, pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike takes off his vented leather jacket and walks inside. As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar....... COLD BEER: $2.00 HAMBURGER: $2.25 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50 HAND JOB: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers. She glides down behind the bar to the old biker. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?" The old biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, "Why yes. Yes, I sure am." The old biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, 'cause I want a cheeseburger."

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