Stolen Lunch

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to

slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his

bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker

brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has seen the whole scene and addressing the biker, says, "Sir, this

was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life." The biker

humbly responded, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just

saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and

tomorrow's paper will have this on the first page. What kind of motorcycle do you

ride?" "A Harley Davidson!" he said proudly! “Hmmmm?” said the reporter

suspiciously. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed

brings news of his actions, and reads on first page: BIKER GANG MEMBER

ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.

Arthur Davidson in Heaven

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven.
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Oh, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
There is too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
It chatters constantly at high speeds.
Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust, and finally.
The maintenance costs are outrageous.
Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it."Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention then yours".

crusty old biker

A crusty old biker, out on a long summer ride in the country, pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike takes off his vented leather jacket and walks inside. As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar....... COLD BEER: $2.00 HAMBURGER: $2.25 CHEESEBURGER: $2.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $3.50 HAND JOB: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers. She glides down behind the bar to the old biker. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?" The old biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lady," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, "Why yes. Yes, I sure am." The old biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, 'cause I want a cheeseburger."